Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
