P.S. I can't hear my feet
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
