Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
