After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
