i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
