3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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