im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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