what day is it and did you see me today?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
