forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
