Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
