I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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