I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Randomize
