Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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