no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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