Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(760): View more from California

It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.

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(302): View more from Delaware

And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...

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(443): View more from Maryland

theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.

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(434): View more from Virginia

i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level

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(540): View more from Virginia

Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.

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(765): View more from Indiana

so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick

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(541): View more from Oregon

Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.

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(316): View more from Kansas

You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.

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(248): View more from Michigan

So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding

(248): View more from Michigan

And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand

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