You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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