lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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