just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
