3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
