Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
