Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
FUCK WHALES
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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