I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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