So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
