ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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