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• (512): View more from Texas

  just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  pretty standard. you have fun last night?

  (512): View more from Texas

  apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.

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• (661): View more from California

  Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.

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• (925): View more from California

  2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.

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• (925): View more from California

  …wtf were in those pills mom gave me

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now

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• (308): View more from Nebraska

  It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night

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