There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Someone signed my nipple.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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