We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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