Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Girls should come with a carfax report
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
