I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
