But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
