I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
