Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
