I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
