So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
