And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
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