You're my little dorito
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
ugly people sure do ruin things
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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