I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
