Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
