What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
