3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
