I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
