This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Randomize
