sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
it's like iHOP with fire
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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