zippers are such a cool invention
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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