Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
