I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Randomize
