Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
