I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
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