I cockslap morals
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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