I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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