Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
